RANSVESTIA

a toast to my beautiful body. Then I decided that I wanted to see myself in my big mirror. I walked, no I swished, across the living room; clad only in my black girdle, black nylons and black patent pumps. I reached the bedroom door, and smiling wickedly to myself, I began to cross to the mirror when the floor came up and that was all I remembered.

Slowly I became aware that someone was trying to make me wake up. Finally I realized that mother was beside me on the floor and bathing my face with a cold cloth.

"Barbie honey, what in the world has happened?”

My head was spinning and I felt just awful. I looked up at her and tried to focus my eyes on her.

"Oh Mommy, where have you been? I have had such a terrible time. I feel awful."

"Barbara, listen to me carefully. Martin is in the hospital. I tried to reach you but the phone was out of order so I came home to get you. Martin is calling for you. You silly youngsters have been taking hor- mones without a doctor's supervision and now he may have to have an operation."

A cold chill came over me. My Marty was dying, I just knew it. I had to get to him right away. When I tried to stand up, I almost fell again with dizziness. Mother held me until I could stand by myself. I took off the rest of my clothes and went into the shower where I let the icy cold water chill me back to sobriety. I came out and briskly rubbed my skin until I felt warm again and then drank a cup of hot black coffee that Mommy had made.

I recalled my strange morning then, and with a robe around me, I went about the house picking up my clothes that I had strewn about.

I got dressed then, very quickly, with a simple pink shirtwaist and my white Capezios. Trying on the Merry Widow, I found that the padding would have to go if I were to get my breasts into the bra. I had to move carefully as the garment was ever so much tighter than it had ever been. My white glace cache and white pantie briefs were followed by my sheerest light beige hose.

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